Lessons About Leadership and Mental Health from Driving Cross-Country with Two Cats
Driving Change: What Two Cats, a Cross-Country Move, and a Car Ride Taught Me About Leadership and Mental Health
When I got job offers in Washington, I was elated. After a long period of searching, I finally had a direction. I made a choice—and then another. That’s how it is with big transitions: one decision leads to the next, and soon you find yourself packing boxes, looking for a place to live, booking movers, and planning a cross-country move.
And then there were the cats.
Wendel is anxious. Cleo doesn’t sit still. Neither of them had been on a car ride longer than a trip to the vet. I knew this wasn’t going to be easy for them—and truthfully, I wasn’t sure how it would go for me either.
So I planned the drive carefully. I built in natural stopping points to allow us all to rest, regroup, and breathe. I didn’t want the cats confined to their carriers for too many hours straight. I had time frames, expectations, and a goal in mind—just like I would if I were facilitating a team through a major organizational shift (Kotter, 2012). But as with all change, the plan and the reality didn’t always match.
Change is Disorienting—Even With a Map
When we first started the drive, the cats didn’t understand what was happening. There was a lot of meowing, clawing, and desperate attempts to get out. It struck me how similar their reaction was to how people feel during sudden or high-stakes change at work—confused, unsure, and grasping for a sense of control.
I was feeling that, too. Driving across the country toward a new job, a new home, and a new chapter, I had plenty of time to sit with uncertainty. I imagined scenarios—some hopeful, some anxious—about what the new job would be like, how I’d show up, and how I’d be received. Change impacts our sense of safety, even when we’re the ones choosing it. That’s why trauma-informed leadership and psychological safety are so critical in the workplace (Bloom & Farragher, 2013; Edmondson, 2019)—especially during times of transition.
Everyone Adjusts Differently
In one hotel, Wendel disappeared under a chair, shaking. In another, he found a way to wedge himself under the bed to avoid getting back in the car. Cleo, on the other hand, sometimes jumped into her carrier on her own in the morning—ready to go. But in the car, she wanted to hide beneath my seat, her head tucked tightly underneath.
By contrast, Wendel—who had been terrified in the hotel—would lounge in the back window, calmly watching the landscape pass.
This reminded me how people process change in wildly different ways. A team member who resists a change initiative might just need space to acclimate—like Wendel under the chair. Another might appear enthusiastic but still harbor hidden anxieties, like Cleo tucked near the floorboard. A leader’s job isn’t to rush everyone forward; it’s to pay attention to those differences and create space for gradual acceptance (Center for Creative Leadership, 2015).
Natural Pauses Matter
The stops I built into the trip were more than just breaks—they were moments of restoration. The cats could stretch, eat, use the litter box. I could do the same (minus the litter box), and reset mentally. Without those breaks, the journey would’ve felt impossible—for all of us.
Organizations need the same thing. Amid intense goals and transformation efforts, we often forget the power of the pause. Reflection, rest, and realignment are not luxuries—they’re part of effective execution. Just like pulling over at a rest stop, these moments allow people to process, ask questions, and prepare for the next stretch of the road (Parker et al., 2008).
Driving with Intention
By the time we neared our destination, something surprising happened. Wendel stopped hiding. Cleo started sleeping through parts of the drive. We had found a rhythm. The journey, which began in fear and stress, ended in calm—even connection.
And I, too, found clarity. The long drive turned out to be one of the most enlightening experiences of my life—not just personally, but professionally. I was reminded that leadership isn’t just about getting somewhere quickly. It’s about how you bring others along.
The Bigger Picture: Leadership, Mental Health, and the Mission
At CityGov, we talk about driving collective well-being and advancing best practices across municipal settings. That’s not just a tagline—it’s a call to lead with intention, empathy, and humanity.
Effective execution doesn’t mean blindly pushing forward toward outcomes. It means being strategic, thoughtful, and people-centered. Leadership grounded in psychological safety, trauma-informed principles, and adaptability helps us navigate change without losing sight of those who are along for the ride.
As leaders—whether we’re managing a city program or two cranky cats in the back seat—our ability to guide through uncertainty, respond with care, and allow room for individual experience is what defines the journey. And ultimately, it’s what determines the success of our shared destination.
References (APA7)
Bloom, S. L., & Farragher, B. (2013). Restoring sanctuary: A new operating system for trauma-informed systems of care. Oxford University Press.
Center for Creative Leadership. (2015). Handbook of coaching in organizations (D. Riddle, E. Hoole, & E. Gullette, Eds.). Jossey-Bass.
Edmondson, A. (2019). The fearless organization: Creating psychological safety in the workplace for learning, innovation, and growth. Wiley.
Kotter, J. P. (2012). Leading change. Harvard Business Review Press.
Parker, S. K., Bindl, U. K., & Strauss, K. (2008). Making things happen: A model of proactive motivation. Journal of Management, 36(5), 827–856. https://doi.org/10.1177/0149206310363732