Leading with Compassion: Schoolwide SEL After a Tragedy

Losing a beloved colleague is one of the most difficult experiences any educator can endure. When our school community faced the devastating loss of Mr. C.- a teacher whose genuine love for kids, humor, and dedication shaped our halls. Mr. C. and I had countless conversations in our gym and lunchroom; I mourned not just a coworker but a confidant and daily inspiration. When we heard of Mr. C.'s passing, balancing my own emotions while providing stability for students felt overwhelming. This experience revealed how crucial it is for schools to extend social-emotional learning (SEL) supports not just to students, but to educators as well, with strong, empathetic leadership making all the difference.

The Day We Lost Mr. C

The morning the news broke about Mr. C’s passing, there was a palpable sense of shock and sadness throughout the building. Tears welled up during our impromptu staff as we congregated in the office. The principal, who was close with Mr. C. and had known him for decades longer than the staff did, was quick to gather us, not just to make announcements but to pause and check in on individual staff members. The approach was one of genuine compassion- listening patiently, validating our feelings, and acknowledging how intertwined our lives and work at school truly are. That initial act of support set the tone for what came next.

How SEL for Educators Makes a Difference

Educators are often asked to provide steady emotional guidance for students, but in this moment, I found it challenging to sideline my own needs. Would students notice me holding back tears? How might this impact their perception of my leadership? Can I show students strength and vulnerability in the same moment? Without proper support, the toll can be immense. Research confirms that teachers who experience trauma or loss without adequate resources face higher risks of stress, burnout, and emotional fatigue- factors that negatively impact student learning and relationships.

• RAND Report (2023): Schools with intentional SEL supports for staff had lower rates of teacher absence and more positive classroom environments.

• CASEL Data (2024): Nearly 70% of educators felt drained by the focus on student SEL, reporting better resilience only when participating in staff peer support groups.

• Personal Anecdote: After Mr. C’s memorial, the principal encouraged staff to share memories of Mr. C. and keep his legacy alive, which he modeled by sharing his own personal stories and interactions. This support helped our community process loss together.

The Principal’s Role: SEL in Action

What set this period apart for me was the principal’s proactive, thoughtful leadership:

• School social workers wer