Dear New Teachers: Nobody Has It All Figured Out by Forty (and That's Good News)
Still Figuring It Out, Still Teaching
At some point, we decided careers should follow a schedule: get the degree, find the job, move up, and have everything figured out by forty.
I would settle for a week without resetting a password.
Having worked in education as a teacher, consultant, and director, I expected experience to bring certainty. Yet, approaching forty, I was considering leaving teaching.
After COVID, I accepted a position at a preschool close to home. It seemed like a sensible choice: familiar work, a short commute, and a chance to get back into a routine.
It became one of the worst career decisions I had made.
For months, I went to work wondering what issue or drama would come up that day. The school and I were not aligned, but I kept trying to make it work. Educators are used to solving problems. Eventually, we start thinking we should be able to fix everything.
Being able to manage a classroom, however, does not mean you can fix the workplace around it.
I left and seriously considered public relations. I interviewed and received an offer, but something did not feel right. Was I ready to leave education, or was I exhausted from where I had been working?
A few days later, I found myself at a preschool in Park Slope that felt like a better fit.
I began enjoying teaching again. I was bringing ideas into the classroom, learning from colleagues, and putting my experience to use. There were still long days when everyone needed a nap, myself included. But I could focus on teaching instead of wondering what problem would come next.
That experience changed how I thought about time. I had assumed that still searching meant I was behind. Those years had actually helped me understand what I needed in a school—and recognize it when I found it.
We talk about career growth through degrees, titles, and promotions. We talk less about the job that looks right on paper but leaves you questioning your entire profession.
A short commute is appealing until you spend the trip home recovering from the day. A leadership title sounds impressive until you realize you miss the classroom. Experience teaches us which things matter, sometimes through decisions we would not make twice.
For people working with children, leaving can be especially difficult. We care about our students and families. That commitment can keep us in a situation longer than it should.
But teachers also need support, clear expectations, and capable leadership. Caring about the children does not make those needs disappear.
We give children time to learn, adjust, and try again. Then we criticize ourselves for not having our careers settled by a certain birthday.
Apparently, patience stays in the classroom next to the glue sticks.
My advice to new teachers is to give yourself time to learn the work and pay attention to the environment. Ask questions. Notice how leadership responds when you need help. Learn to recognize the difference between the challenges of being new and the problems of being unsupported.
Your first school may not be your long-term school. Your goals may change. You may try leadership, consulting, or another field. Those decisions deserve thought, but they do not require you to declare your previous years a waste.
Time gives us information and options we did not have when we started. What we expected at twenty-five may look different at thirty-five.
Approaching forty, I understand more about where I work well. I nearly left teaching before finding a school where I wanted to teach again. That was not the plan, but it helped me make a better decision.
To anyone starting out: take the work seriously, ask for support, and ease up on the deadline for having everything figured out. Give yourself- and others- grace.
Finding the right fit may take a few tries. Mine did.
