Leadership is a dynamic process, and understanding your team's "feedback language" can significantly improve your ability to lead effectively. When I began my leadership journey, I assumed everyone wanted clear, direct, and fast leadership. However, I soon realized this one-size-fits-all approach was inadequate. People are unique, and they respond differently to various leadership styles. This understanding is similar to Dr. Gary Chapman's concept of "love languages," where he argues that people connect differently, and missing their language is tantamount to shouting into the void[1].
In leadership, it is crucial to understand that every team member receives guidance, feedback, and praise differently. To truly influence your team, not just garner compliance, you need to understand their feedback language[2]. Reflecting on Chapman's love languages, I propose the idea of "leadership languages," encompassing Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Recognition, Quality Time, and Empowerment.
Words of Affirmation: Some team members need verbal acknowledgment. Quick, specific praise can fire them up and inspire them to work harder[3].
Acts of Service: For others, actions speak louder than words. Showing your commitment by clearing obstacles or fighting for resources can mean more than any words of praise.
Recognition: Recognition can be likened to "Receiving Gifts" in Chapman's love languages. A plaque, a bonus, or even a handwritten note can have a more significant impact than a dozen verbal compliments[4].
Quality Time: Some team members feel valued when you invest time in them, not just when things go wrong but regularly[5].
Empowerment: Empowerment is leadership's version of "Touch". Trusting your team members with authority and decision-making shows them the highest form of respect[6].
Understanding and applying these leadership languages is essential because you can't effectively lead a team if you don't know how they hear you. Leading everyone the same way is lazy and ineffective. For example, publicly awarding someone who hates the spotlight can be more humiliating than honoring. Similarly, dragging someone into a long mentoring session when all they needed was a quick "you're doing great" can be counterproductive[7].
When you adapt your leadership style to your team's feedback language, you not only boost morale, but you also build loyalty, something money can't buy. To learn your team's language, watch them closely, ask them how they prefer feedback, test different styles, and stay alert to the responses. Flexibility is the key to great leadership[8].
In conclusion, being the smartest or most technically skilled person in the room doesn't make you a leader. If you're not speaking your team's language, you're merely lecturing, not leading. The best leaders are bilingual. They know how to adapt their message, without compromising their standards, to bring out the best in their teams.
As municipal managers, our goal should be to learn the language of our teams, to lead the people effectively. By understanding and applying the concept of leadership languages, we can improve our leadership skills and create more productive, committed, and loyal teams.
References
Chapman, Gary. The Five Love Languages: How to Express Heartfelt Commitment to Your Mate. Chicago: Northfield Publishing, 1992.
Fullan, Michael. Leading in a Culture of Change. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass, 2001.
Goleman, Daniel, Richard Boyatzis, and Annie McKee. Primal Leadership: Learning to Lead with Emotional Intelligence. Boston: Harvard Business School Press, 2002.
Kouzes, James M., and Barry Z. Posner. The Leadership Challenge: How to Make Extraordinary Things Happen in Organizations. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass, 2012.
Lencioni, Patrick. The Advantage: Why Organizational Health Trumps Everything Else in Business. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass, 2012.
Maxwell, John C. The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership: Follow Them and People Will Follow You. Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 2007.
Northouse, Peter G. Leadership: Theory and Practice. Thousand Oaks, CA: SAGE Publications, 2018.
Robbins, Stephen P., and Timothy A. Judge. Organizational Behavior. Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson Prentice Hall, 2009.