Only We Know Us Like We Know Us – Building Peer Support That Works
Only We Know Us Like We Know Us – Building Peer Support That Works
The Tough Exterior We Were Taught to Wear
I grew up with strong law enforcement role models in my life. It was widely accepted that the profession is high stress, volatile, and that officers have to be tough. Mental strength was essential; we were hard and never showed emotions in the face of crisis. To be emotional was considered a sign of weakness.
Of course, that’s not true. Fortunately. But unfortunately, this misconception causes many in law enforcement to hide their emotions and not share with others, leading to maladaptive coping mechanisms: alcohol, divorce, misconduct, aggression, or, even more tragically, suicide.
The Weight We Carry and Hide
Every day, we confront the darkest moments of people’s lives: loss, violence, trauma. And we shoulder it quietly. We often believe only other law enforcement officers can understand, which breeds cynicism and isolation. Add to that the stigma of vulnerability, and it’s no surprise we don’t seek help. Over time, this weight adds up. It becomes part of the uniform, and for some, it becomes unbearable.
For many of us, awareness of wellness programs only comes after moments of intense stress or crisis. Peer support entered our agency after workplace tensions peaked following a tragic shooting. At first, it seemed symbolic, well-intentioned, but unlikely to shift culture.
The Wake-Up Call
Many of us have taken years to realize things don’t have to be that way. We can talk. We can share. And there is strength, not weakness, in supporting our mental health. One story changed everything: a coworker shared how a timely phone call from peer support stopped him from ending his life.
Another coworker, grieving his wife’s death, drowning himself in work and sorrow, began to spiral. But a fellow employee noticed changes in him and quietly flagged it to the peer support team. A phone call one night, seemingly random, interrupted his plan. That conversation led to more. Over time, he found understanding, healing, and purpose. He later became a peer support advocate himself.
What Peer Support Really Is
Peer support is built on trust, officers talking to officers. Trained volunteers learn to spot red flags, listen effectively, and know when to connect peers to professional help. The key is that they’ve walked the same walk. They understand. It’s that shared experience that allows real conversations to happen, and those conversations can save lives.
Breaking the Stigma, Building the System
These programs aren't just theoretical or 'nice to have', they work. Law enforcement officers across the country are increasingly recognizing that peer support is a practical tool for preventing burnout, improving morale, and addressing trauma before it turns into tragedy. But the biggest obstacle remains stigma, the outdated belief that asking for help is weakness.
Our agency’s commitment deepened over time. What began as a regional initiative expanded into a nationwide program supporting over 800 employees. The focus shifted to proactive wellness, making support visible, accessible, and stigma-free. Success depended on leadership commitment, consistent messaging, and peer advocates embedded throughout the organization.
Resilience Starts from Within
I’ve learned that the most resilient organizations aren’t the ones with the toughest exteriors; they’re the ones that care for their people on the inside. Peer support is not a silver bullet, but it’s one of the best tools we have to break down silence, offer real help, and start rebuilding trust from within. It creates a safety net, something every one of us might need at some point, whether we realize it yet or not.
Supporting mental health in law enforcement isn’t a luxury; it’s a necessity. If we expect strength in the field, we must cultivate strength behind the badge, too. The resources exist. The programs can be built. We just have to decide that our people are worth it.
Over time, more employees began reaching out, not in crisis, but simply to talk. That shift where regular check-ins became normal was a sign of cultural change.
Resources
• DOJ COPS Office – Officer Safety and Wellness resources: https://cops.usdoj.gov/Default.asp?Item=2682
• IACP Peer Support Guidelines: https://www.theiacp.org/resources/document/peer-support-guidelines
• CDC Report: 'Law Enforcement Officer Suicide Data Collection' (2022): https://www.cdc.gov/niosh/topics/suicide/lawenforcement.html