An Open Letter to Parents from a School Administrator
As a school administrator and fellow human being who deeply cares about children, I want to share a hard truth with you—something I’ve witnessed too many times throughout my career: special education is often treated as a destination, not a support. And your child deserves better than that.
If your child has struggled in school—whether academically, socially, or emotionally—you may have been told they need an IEP (Individualized Education Program). Maybe you felt relief. Maybe you felt overwhelmed. Maybe both. You were promised support, but what you may not have been told is this: just giving a child an IEP and placing them in a special class doesn’t always solve the real problem. In fact, sometimes, it simply moves the child out of the classroom—out of sight, out of mind.
Too often, special education becomes a convenient answer for educators who feel unprepared to meet the needs of a unique learner. I’ve heard it countless times: “This isn’t the right setting for that child.” But here’s the question educators should be asking: What have I done to make this the right setting for your child?
When I was a new teacher, my principal used to say, “Special education is a service, not a place.” That has stayed with me for over two decades. But are we truly treating it that way?
Let me tell you a story...
When I first became a principal in an early childhood center, I was told we would be opening four special education classes. The expectation? That those students—children as young as three, many with cognitive, physical, and emotional delays—would follow the same exact curriculum as the general education four- and five-year-olds. It was, frankly, absurd.
I knew it would set our students up for failure. So I called a meeting with my team and said: We’re going to do this differently. Instead of forcing the same lessons onto children with vastly different needs, we focused on what they actually needed to learn first: how to make eye contact, how to sit and attend, how to follow simple directions, how to express themselves. These are the real foundations of learning—and they are often skipped in favor of pushing content that is completely developmentally inappropriate.
I told my teachers: the “curriculum” can be the decoration—the theme that keeps it fun. But the real work, the meaningful work, is building the skills that will help our students learn how to learn.
And you know what happened? Our program became recognized as one of the best in the city. Not because we had more money or better materials—but because we were intentional. We listened. We focused on each child’s strengths and needs. And we respected every child’s unique learning journey.
Parents, you have the right to ask for this. You have the right to demand more than labels and placements. You have the right to know that special education is not a box to check, but a dynamic, individualized service that should work for your child—not just make things easier for the adults in the room.
Today, we have access to more tools than ever. With the help of technology—including AI—we can develop strategies tailored to your child’s specific profile. No two children are alike. We should be using everything at our disposal to honor that truth in every classroom.
So I’m asking you: don’t settle. Ask questions. Speak up. Partner with educators who are ready to meet your child where they are and help them grow—not just academically, but as whole, vibrant human beings. You are your child’s greatest advocate, and your voice matters more than you know.
Let’s work together to make sure special education is truly serving your child—not labeling them. Because your child is not a problem to fix. They are a person to understand, support, and celebrate